A New Week Starts

I slept much better last night probably because I was exhausted from the previous two nights, but I'll take it. Weight still hanging in there at 172.2 so the calorie packing is working. Nurse R discussed my days meals. Nothing like a meal discussion at 7:45 AM. She just said the reason I slept better was because I was out and about yesterday and I took a walk. Could be.

Today is dank and rainy so I will keep pretty much to home. I still have heavy mucous and my tongue still hurts but maybe it is a little better. Its hard to tell. Lunch, another high point of the day consisted of clam chowder and an Ensure. Dr. Beadle called to see how I was doing and she said I'm pretty much on schedule. She said in another two months I will be feeling like my old self. I hope she's right. I mentioned my sore tongue and she sent out a prescription of some numbing medicine which should help. They have medicine for everything and our cabinet is a regular pharmacopia of mystical drugs.

Dinner. Nurse R called to see what I was having. She already knew as we discussed it ad nauseum but she wanted to hear it one more time. I had a bowl of chicken soup, enchilladas, corn pudding and chicken. Monster portions which were not photographed. Now I'm stuffed.

Weekend Update

Bad night Friday night. Horrible indigestion which forced me to take Mylanta at 1:30 and a Zofram at 2:00. Did not sleep well at all as I had and continue to have thick mucous. At weigh in my weight is up another pound to 171.2. I suppose that is good. Last night I had a solid dinner and did not have the feeding tube. Obviously Nurse R was at work; however I photographed the dinner as it sat on my plate and photographed the plate after dinner so she could see the residue. Got to produce the evidence. Anyway dinner was good; creamed spinach, corn pudding, tuna fish and sweet potato. Apparently it passed the Nurse R test as I got no grief about not having the feeding tube.

Before

After

Had a fair night Saturday and got up at 8:00 which is pretty good. I had a cheese omlette with corn pudding for breakfast. I'm doing good my weight is at 171.4. Of course my arteries are going to hell but my weight is fine.

Today I'll watch some football and take a walk. Nurse R said we must plan my meals. Oh Joy!

Black Friday

Actually it's a good Friday. I got up at 8:15. I wasn't sleeping but resting nicely. I feel pretty good today except my tongue is still hurting. I am taking an antibiotic for it but I doubt it will do much good as there doesn't seem to be any infection there. I'll know more about that on Monday when I talk to Dr. Chambers and get the results of the cultures.

Yesterday was a good day, Thanksgiving dinner at Julie's and the whole family was there. We're a compatible group so it was a pleasant experience as it usually is. Nurse R is doing som shopping today; how she managed to get off on Black Friday is an amazement, well actually it's not a big time for couture. I'm working on my catalogs today and am going to watch some football.

Still being good. I had oatmeal (tasteless) for breakfast and potato soup and an Ensure for lunch. My weight seems to be maintaining at 170.2 lbs. If I can continue to maintain that I'll be happy.

Happy Thanksgiving

I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am on the road to health and am feeling a little better each day; I have my wonderful and loving Nurse R to keep me on the staright and narrow, my daughter Mini Me who fills in admirably when Nurse R is not available, my beautiful granddaughter Miriam who never ceases to amaze me, my son-in-law Nick who has always been supportive and you my many friends who are seeing me through this adventure. Yes, I have much to be thankful for.

I wish you all a Happy and Peaceful Thanksgiving.

Still Behavin'

I didn't sleep very well last night but that is nothing new although I was told that I did. For breakfast in addition to my two cans of nutrients I also had some instant oatmeal, today's variety was banana bread. Still tasteless but I ate it all, anyway. For lunch I had a two egg scrambled egg omlette with a heart stopping two pieces of cheese melted into it. Not exactly on my vegan diet but some things I guess must just have to take a back seat to getting better. The omlette, by the way was tasteless but I ate it all anyway. I was quite full after that and passed on the Ensure. Wait, there's the phone. Okay, that was Nurse R checking in to see how lunch went. She will provide various reminders about the Ensure which will not go away. It's wonderful to be loved. More later, maybe.

Poster Child

Today is my first full day of being a model patient. I had oatmeal for breakfast along with my normal feeding and then I swished the elixer around my tongue. It does seem to be helping. I'm still looking for my first full night of sleep as I seem to doze in two hour increments. Dr. Beadle won't give me Ambien which I feel would be the solution but she said she felt I would do just fine without it. I am having tuna fish for lunch; got to exercise those throat muscles besides I am seeing the swallow lady in three weeks and want to bask in the limelight of being the "Turn around player" of the month. I call Dr. Chambers tomorrow morning and get the results of my tongue culture and some medicine to correct the problem. Once my tongue is better I will feel better.

It looks like a fairly miserable day, rainy and dank. I am quite content to be ensconsed in my robe and blanket. Maybe I'll do some work for PGW.

Riot Act Read

I had my appointment with Speech Pathology today (Swallow) I was out gunned three to one plus Nurse R. Okay, so I haven't been the best of patients; it's hard to eat when your tongue is as ulcerated as mine and when food has very little taste. Not so, according to the big three. You must eat to promote healing, prevent weight loss and not allow the muscles atrophy. I GOT IT!!! I am mending my ways. Also if I ever want to have the food tube removed I have to sustain weight on my own. She did say that at the rate I am going I will lose two pounds a week which would not be a good thing. Upon returning home I had an Ensure, refried beans,guacamole and a cup of soup.

I also met with the dentist, Dr. Chambers, who said I was doing well but did have a huge ulcer on the right side of my tongue which of course makes eating painful. He took a couple of cultures and I am to call him on Wednesday to find out what the problem is and to get a prescription to cure it. He was most sympathetic. Now I have to go do a couple of rinses for my tongue.

Hey, It's Friday

Last night I slept on and off. I still have very thick mucous and that is what keeps me awake despite the fact I had four doses of the horrible mucous medicine throughout the day. Last night I had a small amount of chicken. What was surprising was that the chicken had a taste. I take this as a good sign that perhaps the taste buds are improving.

I enjoyed listrening in on the sales meeting andtaking notes. It made me feel a part of the whole thing. I got very tired around 5:00 and was forced to leave the final 2 hours but it was good attending.

Today it's raining so there is not going to be much of an opportunity to take a short walk outside, maybe I'll walk around the lobby. I have been told that I need to have 2 Ensures today. Maybe the calories help. I gained a pound and am now up to 169. I know this makes Nurse R quite happy.

A Bad Night

It seems I just can't put two good nights together. The pink medicine did not work and I had very thick mucous which kept me up. I kept drinking water and then I had to go to the bathroom; kinda like a vicious circle. I switched medicine today and will try a different variety to see if it does any better. Nurse R predicts sleep tonight. Still nothing tastes good. The puddings had no flavor or taste but hopefully that will change. I detected a cherry taste to the jello but it doesn't have any calories so who cares? THe good news is that the Ensure does have a taste which leads me to have some faith that my taste buds have not been completely shot off.

Sales meeting again today. It does keep me occupied and involved so that's a good thing. It is over on Friday but I'm glad they were able to hook me up. More later

A Good night

Last night was the first good one I have had in awhile. I went to bed at 9:00 and after a little queasyness I fell asleep and woke up at 6:25. Maybe the pink medicine helps. I'll continue taking it. I still have very thick mucous and that seems to be causing my main problem; that plus my tongue still hurts. However, all things considered I feel better. My weight is down to 168 so I may start trying to have two Ensures today. I just have no appetite.However, if I ever want to get the feeding tube removed I'm going to have to start eating on my own. Easier said than done, but I feel I still have a week or so to put plan C into effect. I don't have a clue as to what  plan C is.

I have the sales meeting by telephone today. Yesterday I managed to hang in there till 5:00 then I was just too exhausted to continue. It starts at 11:00 and I'll see how long I can go. It just feels good to be a part of the whole thing even if only by phone.

Still Waiting for Some Good Stuff

It has been 17 days since I had my final Radiation treatment and I keep waiting for things to improve. I reread all the notes taken prior to the start and read the words about having to have patience but I don't think that's in my DNA. Last night was another miserable night with very little if any sleep. I'm sure I kept Nurse R up as well but I can assure her it was unintended.  I even took the dreaded mucous medicine ugh but I don't think it did much good.. I only hope that tonight will be better. I was forced to change the battery in the scale as it ordered me to do so. I think that's what BATT LO means. Batt LO is gone but but my weight has dropped a tad down to a fighting 168.2 lbs. At this rate all my old clothes will fit me but I'm certainly not trying to accomplish this.

Elise called  and a phone has been set up so that I can at least hear the presentations. This  is good.  I finally gave up the ghost at 5:30 and got up. Today will be better. More later

Bad Day at Black Rock

Actually bad night a t black rock. Last night was horrible. I was up the whole night, Nausea, dry heaves stomach cramps, all sorts of fun things. At 5:15 when I thought death was imminent, Nurse R rose from her bed and took me into the kitchen where she fed me some horrible pink medicine. This may have helped. I returned to bed and finally arose ar 8:15 ready to face the day. The mucus is pretty bad but the horrible pink medicine may have thinned it a little. I have been todl I will have three more doses today.

This coming week is the PGW sales meeting. I asked my boss if she could wire me in so that at least I could be a semi active participant. She was going to check and get back to me. I really would hate to miss the whole thing as there is just so much that you can't pick up elsewhere, even with all the reading.

I have just concluded my morning feeding. Yum, and now I am going to get dressed and face the day.

Best Laid Plans

Yesterday I decided I would start the big eating experiment today. I did not have my 6:00 feeding as I was nauseaus and just didn't want any. I felt today I would try solid food. Breakfast I tried cereal FAILURE. I then tried a strawberry smoothie with strawberry soy ice cream and protein powder. FAILURE. There was no taste and it didn't even feel good in my mouth. I am now concerned about my taste ever returning. I'll experiment with a few more recipes and see if they bring any success. Nurse R is disgusted. I can't blame her as I  am as well. She left in a cloud this morning as she has the day off. She needs it.

Rest of the day was uneventful and it is now Friday. Two weeks since my last treatment. My mouth os still sore as is my throat.I had another bout of nausea this noon and havn't attempted to eat anything. Nurse R with her uncanny sixth sense called to check on what I had for lunch. I guess I'm having an Ensure.

I am no longer taking the pain patch (I never realized how wonderful that was) So, now I have pain but have not taken any medication as it makes me nauseus. Some days you can't win. Maybe I'll feel better later. It looks like another beautiful day in the neighborhood so I may take another short walk.

Another Gorgeous Day

I am looking out my study window on a magnificent panoply of greens, reds, yellows and greens in various hues. It is Houston's answer to what New England refers to as "The leaf season" I must go out later and witness the sights and smells of the day in person. If only I felt better. This is getting me down. It has been 8 days since my last treatment and I should be feeling a lot better. Still no taste and certainly no appetrite. I had an Ensure for lunch (big whoop) Nurse R wanted me to have a baked potato which I declined. The thought of it was making me nauseaus. On a positive side, my throat is feeling better and my neck is pealing, so, that seems to be on schedule. It's just the rest of the stuff that is depressing me.

My company computer is being diagnosed remotely. It seems all my icons disappeared and none of my files are accessible. I called trhe magic help desk number and a self diagnosis is in place. It's been doing it for 35 minutes and who knows who much longer. I think I'll go out and check out the day. Maybe I'll feel better when I return.

It was beautiful but my mood still remains dark. My computer finished doing what it was supposed to do but found no errors (surprise) I left a message with the help desk to this effect.I'll see if anyone calls me.

Another Beautiful Day

I was rudely awakened by Nurse R who followed through on her threat to have me up and out by the crack of dawn.This speed brought on an immediate attack of nausea which sent me to the porcelain bowl and ultimately back to bed to recover. After I had my breakfast I rested for a while and then got up, checked my emails and had an Ensure for lunch. After which I went outside for a walk mainly around the corner but it was so beautiful I had to spend a little time in the great outdoors.

When I came back in I was overcome with an attack of thre vapors so I decided to lie down for a brief nap.and then got up so I would be ready for Nurse R's return home. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Just Another Monday

The past weekend proved uneventful. I certainly didn't do much of anything. I have, however, mastered the art of the nap and practiced my new specialty diligently over the entire weekend. Although I say this in jest I have been doing a lot of sleeping and napping. I don't know why I should be so tired but I am. I still have the feeding tube and have been making a little effort to wean myself from it. Food still has no taste and is no longer one of the enjoyable aspects of my life. Did you know that Baby Food tastes like crap? Well, it does. It could be a Marketing Department's worst nightmare. I have discarded the Baby Spinach as it looks like and tastes like Baby poo. (You'll note my scat comments are appropriate to age level at which they are being directed) I digress. I have also added Ensure to my diet. It too has no strong taste but it's in a small can and I can handle it easily. I am still having two feeding tube meals a day

Nurse R has just called to advise it is 12:45 and that I needed to make a meal selection by 1:00. I told her to call me back at One. I will have no more of an idea at that time than I do now. [we call this Stall Technique I ] Now I must seriously check the pantry to see what if anything appeals to me. As I suspected, nothing. Drat, there's the phone. Amazing how time flies by when you're having fun. I shall have a chocolate Ensure for lunch. Doesn't that sound yum?  Maybe I'll bake some scones; then after that it will be nap time again. . Yes, time does fly by.

D- Day Plus One

Hard to believe but it was one week ago today I rang the bell and celebrated my return to the real world. That celebration may have been a tad mature as I am still waiting. It takes longer than I had imagined for the side effects to leave. I am still on the feeding tube but made the decision to wean myself from it this week (or next) It will take persistence and not any delicious morsels coming from the great iced box. I will start  experimenting and reintroducing the idea of actually eating to my throat and stomach. Today I had a small portion of my cereal which still remains tasteless but I know that will be trhe case for awhile. I may have a Ensure for lunch. This is one struggle I think I can win. The throat still hurts and the stringy mucus is still there but there is a hint it may be improving slightly. I'm hoping next week turns the corner.

I didn't sleep again last night. I am apparently getting sufficient rest during the day to off set any waking hours at night. It does give one an opportunity to meditate on life and solve various problerms that have cropped up but have been heretofore too difficult to comtemplate. I have also found that problems solved at 3:00 AM
are not solved very well, but I have time.

Looks like another beautiful weekend. I hope to get out and enjoy some of it.

Keeping Tabs on Wednesday

I didn't sleep well last night; this has become a regular thing. I keep waking up almost hourly as my mouth is dry and filled with mucus.Sounds like a contradiction in terms but believe me, it's not. I did a couple of rinses and returned to the bed's sanctuary. Today Nurse R laid down the law and and insisted I use the Guafisan which is supposed to curb the mucus. Tastes horrible but I have been taking it. I'll let you know if it worked.

I spent much of the day in bed and then at 2:00 I decided it would be good to get out. I had to have some things printed for my PBG Control Catalog and was off to the Office Depot. It was a gorgeous day and I'm glad I did get out. It feels very wierd missing the sales meeting but I suppose I'll get over it. Maybe I'll start assembling materials tomorrow.

Tonight sleep would e a novelty. I'll hope for the best.

Where did Monday Go?

That's a good question. I don't know where it went as I spent most of the day in a most decadent style, namely in bed. It was actually quite pleasant but last night I paid the piper as I didn't get much sleep. My throat and mouth still hurt and I have all sorts of medicines which I have not benn taking largely becasue they are very short acting and taste pretty bad. How come I can't taste food but I have the ability to taste cruddy medicine? Doesn't seem right.

It's a gorgeous day and I have the feeling I should be out there walking but I have no energy for that sort of activity. Nurse R is becoming annoyed and sees herself as the source of my angst which of course, is untrue. She's been quite wonderful and despite a few feeding errors has handled her new undertaking with aplomb. I keep thinking that things will improve. The various sheets indicate that that should be happing within 2-4 weeks. Although the feeding tube cuts out the middle man it is not the end all be all solution and I hope to be trying oral sustenance soon. Maybe Thursday.

This week is the PBG sales meeting in New York. Actually it's in Jersy City but close enough. I am obviously not there but the sales materials have all arrived and are sitting in my office an very tidy 4 foot stack. I may have to go to the printer to get some things reproduced for my catalog. Maybe today or tomorrow. I'll see how I feel. I even have some orders to transmit so I am not feeling totally useless.Perhaps I'll have more later but then again, maybe not.