Rough Night and Decision Made

Last night was pretty bad. I didn't sleep well and my mouth and throat really hurt and I couldn't swallow. I did several rinses which helped a little but it wasn't good. It reminded me of that old story about a man who was really feeling down and depressed when a voice came to him from out of the blue saying, "Cheer up, things could be worse." So, he cheered up and sure enough, things got worse.

At 6:00 I took a full dose of the pain medicine. Wow! I felt like a Zombie but at least I was able to swallow and it really did help with the pain. I had a yogurt and an Ensure for breakfast, neither of which could I taste but at least I got it down. Nurse "R" was very sympathetic and drove me to my Radiation appointment as I was certainly in no condition to do so. As a reward I finished my bottle of water. Ugh, horrible.

The Radiation today was most onerous. I had a lot of trouble putting the stent in my mouth, it made me want to hurl and that would have been a bad thing. Neil was very patient and told me to take my time and eventually I was able to do it but it was touch and go for a while. I am off for the weekend and hopefully I will be able to recover a little and maybe get some sleep. My energy level has certainly dropped and although I want to take my walk it is a question of the mind being able but the body not. I think I shall now take a nap.

I am enough of a realist to know that this is just the start of the pain and as it progresses, despite the ministrations of Nurse "R", there will be a constant battle over food and nutrients. It's a lose, lose situation therefore I have opted to go the feeding tube route. I called Dr. Dekovich's office and his nurse returned my call. I told her that I wanted to set up a time to have it done. She said she would send out the necessary emails and will call me on Monday. So, I'm guessing it will be done maybe Tuedsay or Wednesday. It's not what I wanted but it is the only sensible choice. I sound so mature I can't stand it. Waaaaaaaaahhhh.